So much of learning involves letting go. Letting go of assumptions. Old habits. Blinders. Sometimes we let go of things without ever realizing we held them. Other times its damn near impossible to relax our grasp.
You know how some things can trigger an automatic reaction inside of you. No thinking or analysing. They just cause you to react. For better or worse.
For instance, a child running across a parking lot makes my arms flinch, wanting to reach out and stop them even if I'm several cars or rows away. Or how poor grammar usage triggers the auto-correct inside my head, which usually comes out my mouth.
Then there are times when your usual reaction is no longer enough. It's just the same tired dance you've done for so long. The dance that often causes relationships to end, friends to grow apart, or people to fall down in despair.
The good thing about becoming tired of a repeating cause and effect is that you can begin to disassociate yourself from the drama of the moment and instead observe yourself.
You can ask:
What am I doing?
Why am I doing it?
Is this action working for me?
Then you wait for the answer to one or all of those questions. Sometimes the answer involves creating a new dance. Other times a new song will do.
It just requires letting go of the old one.