Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Ease on down the road

I've had to make some tough decisions lately. I have had to decide in black and white what I feel I am worth.
How much do I value my time?

Evaluating what I bring to a job. What I offer to an organization. And what I deliver to my students. So many times I have come into a situation or potential relationship knowing what I need, what would make me happy, and what is my bottom line, only to back-pedal when the negotiation begins.

Each time that would happen I would leave feeling a little bereft and put upon.

Didn't they know the value I added to the team.

Weren't they standing to reap an enthusiastic worker?

Perhaps they just didn't "like" me enough.

But I am learning that my worth has nothing to do with "like". When it all gets comes down to the nitty-gritty this question remains:

What am I willing to take?

If I am satisfied and happy with the arrangement then we are all good. But when I feel short-changed or taken advantage of, it is simply not a good space to be in. Not a space worthy of me, my time, my energy.

Now some people/positions/partners may value you, but truly can not (for one reason or another) accommodate your needs. It is not for lack of wanting. It may be due to funding or timing or contractual restraints. And that is fine.

At a time like this you must decide if the relationship is worth pursuing in spite of limitations.

Then there are times when the other party is just not interested in meeting you 1/2 way, a quarter of the way, or even 1/6th. At those times you can stay or you can go. Choosing to stay may serve as a means to an end. Or it may simply feel like another knife to your gut.

Most recently I have had to decide whether to accept or decline new working partnerships. And one essential thing I'm looking for is mutual accommodation. When we come to the negotiation table I can not be the only one there.

Thankfully, I am discovering that is is OKAY to respectfully decline and walk away. Not always easy, but definitely OKAY.

I have gotten to the point where my gut will NOT allow me do otherwise. And for that I'm thankful.

Taking whatever is offered me would be/could be easy. Dealing with myself/my voice everyday after once again settling  and selling myself short would be terrible.

And I'm done with terrible.