Monday, November 28, 2011

Building Blocks

Right now I'm feeling excited, nervous, and a bit nauseous. I've entered two selections into the MeeGenius Author Challenge. And voting started today!

This is what I want and the type of "big break" I need. However, the thought of going against 300 other authors is a bit disconcerting.

It's a necessary experience through. The intense learning process of being judged and critiqued, chosen or discarded by the masses. The type of climb where you don't look down because you may become too startled to continue climbing.

My older sister has been saying that the light at the end of the tunnel is growing larger and larger. I believe her. But right now the image of a growing light has me visualizing oncoming trains.

So instead of worrying about being run over I'm going to conceptualize building blocks with my now officially 5 years old son. That's something I can handle.

Stacking one block on another, on another, on another...

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Funky Bunch

Funky, funky, funky.

That's been my mood has been of late. Just a nagging irritation about various things that I can not change. And I do not wish to release more negativity or stress into the atmosphere. We have enough drama as it is.

So let me instead relay how eternally grateful I am that mistakes and folly can be turned into bliss. How things that we once discarded can become our closest treasure.

One grand thing about life is that few experiences or choices are final. Most actions are continuous loops of cause and effect and effect and effect.

Meaning that even disastrous embarrassments can lead to enlightenment and growth. Failure can spur discovery. Loss can ignite freedom.

Sure the economy sucks, a football dynasty has fallen, politics are rotten, not to mention that the police still do bad things to ordinary people.

But each of these circumstances are catapulting us into action.

How can we build a more secure future for our children? Without banks or politician to count on can't we take the reins of our own future?

What will safeguard our children? Vigilance, renewed vigilance and courage can prevent more children from falling into the hands of waiting predators.

And who will lead our country out of this moral and fiscal slump? (Hint: It won't be Barack Obama or Herman Cain) As communities and individuals and groups will be the ones to take back our country. Not back to unchecked greed and inequality. But back to togetherness and community.

If we shake ourselves out of this slumber and put our hands to the grind maybe the funk will be lifted.

We won't know until we try.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

We are all Penn State

What can I say about the travesty that is the Penn State sex abuse debacle?

Nothing. There are no words in my mouth to form. I've talked with my husband about how some of the initial reactions by the Penn State student body and fans made me feel as someone who has been touched by this plague.

But what else is there for me to say. Reading the details and interviews and emails make me feel like a coward. Like I should have done more to draw attention to the pedophiles that were always in the peripheral when I was a child.

If I had screamed or called 911 when someone made me uneasy or caused the hairs or my arms to raise. Could I have better protected my sisters, myself, or the other girls known and unknown?

The music leaders, youth group volunteers, family friends who were open secrets of perversion. People we girls were warned to be wary of, but who were still given unmitigated access to us.

What is there to say? The evilness is there. It is here.

We are all Penn State.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Saving all my love

Saving all my pennies, and bundling 
up my clan. Heading cross the 
Midwest to love, laugh, and celebrate. 

The largest family Christmas since my
childhood. The eggnog, and jokes. Memories 
and gifts. Songs, skits, and plays. 

The stores did their best to 
beckon me today. But I'm saving 
all my pennies for This Christmas.

~~This week's Six Word Friday prompt was SAVING. While I'm penny-pinching in anticipation of the Holidays I am also trying to to curb my enthusiasm about the event. But that prospect is nearly impossible! In fact we're about two steps from actually counting down the days :o)~~

Friday, November 4, 2011

Things are getting better

While some aspects of our world
are contracting others are expanding. 

Let me explain what I mean:

When we hit rock bottom where 
else is there to go but up? 

When our families are divided how 
else is there to live but 
together? When our knowledge is limited 
what else is there to do 
but learn? And when our material
wealth is lost what else is
there but our valuable lives?

Do you see things getting better?

~~I have missed a few, but Happy Six Word Friday, everyone! I chewed on BETTER for a while and started to write based on a different twist, however this one appeared and it seemed more right.

I heard a member of the clergy speaking on ON BEING and he talked about the economic downturn being a grand opportunity to serve our neighbors. To love one another. To see a need and fulfill it. I am of the same persuasion.

Once we realize how much we have that can be given to others in service we will see how much better our sphere of the world can be.~~

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The pain of knowing

Monday found me sprawled across a patient table getting assessed for the source of my back pain. Strangely, I noticed myself thinking that it would be so much better if I didn't know the source of the problem. Then I wouldn't have to take action.

The physical therapist kept right on prodding the tender parts along my spine, and determined that my left side was substantially weaker than the right. Thereby putting immense pressure on my back.

All this new found knowledge made me feel depressive.
"Why was my back jacked up and my strength uneven?"
After all, I ran throughout summer and had just proven myself by completing a taxing marathon. Couldn't I catch a break?

I saw Oprah say somewhere that we should give ourselves a timed pity party, to get it out and over with. So, after about two minutes I had to check myself and realize this knowledge was empowering me to could change the situation.

People are always griping about how unfair or sucky life is. How things should go along differently.
Are we truly entitled to a life of fairness and bliss?
Where would our stories come from if not from the therapist's table?

I honestly and sincerely am not interested in another fitness regime right now. I have 5 classes to complete, the Basic Skills test to pass, and my freelance career to nurture. Not to mention a holiday job and volunteer activities that currently lay claim to my calendar.

But life isn't fair, and things do not always go according to plan.
 If my left side is weak I need to strengthen it.
That's the pain of knowing.  It's now my prerogative to turn it into the pleasure of doing.