Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Said and Done

My cousin and I (President and V.P.) waiting for everyone to arrive.
This past weekend I celebrated 10 years out of High School. And nothing, nothing has gone according to plan.

At this point in my life I was to have completed my Bachelors degree in Communication. Be working as a Journalist or Newscaster. And finding a mate to marry and start a family with.

Instead, this year will mark my 10th year of marriage to my Dramatic Duet partner of High School fame. The continued pursuit of my Social Studies degree for grades 5-12. And the 5th year of life for the youngest of our three sons.

And I'm finally at peace with that.

Our reunion turnout was remarkably underwhelming. Especially because so many graduates still live in the area. But I couldn't help but wondering if it was shame that kept some of them away.

The same shame I tortured myself with when things did not turn out exactly as planned? I think sometimes we can be our own prison. We lock away our joy, peace, and well-being because life has not been packaged according to our specifications.

Specifications that many of our ordered in grade school...and who the hell knows what they want out of life in the 9th grade!!??!!

No, the 10 year goals that graced my yearbook covers aren't realized, but other new and lovely ones have taken there place. So, I'm free. Free from blame and shame.

Life is what it is. And that IS what I make of it now :o)