Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Teflon Don(na)

I  am the only the young married woman grappling with the meaning/terms of LOVE? As in, what can love cause rational/savvy/smart/quirky women to accept and do?

And will I become one of those hopeless women who will do ANYTHING for love? (ummmm....never!)

I think I may have a love/hate relationship with this emotion. On one hand, I know in my heart that hot/heavy/passionate love is to die for.

My problem comes in at the "to die for" part. Because that's the irrationality! Yes, I love my children enough to face death in their stead. But another adult? A man?
Now, that's crazy!
Yet and still, it's this crazy/in/love feeling/existence that I desire. But I just can't let myself go there. Because to go crazy/in/love would be too real, too vulnerable. Foolish even.

Haven't I seen enough women done in by crazy/in/love. Isn't that how your heart gets broken and trampled on?
So what, if I never get that complete irrational romance, aren't I'm safe/whole instead.
 And that's the trade-off, isn't it. Safety vs. Crazy. How's that for a shitty compromise.

And I never thought I'd say this, but I think I may need/am ready for some crazy. This page in my life has me realizing that I have to let some crazy/in/love into my heart.

But that's the hard part folks! Especially for me, a feminist/realist/survivalist. I love my man, but I've always loved my unbroken-heart more.
But I think it's time I gave him my naked heart, instead of the one that's wrapped in a protective coating.
~~ Anyone else leaving their safe(harbor)? Do tell/share :o) ~~